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“NO” – The First Step Toward a Win-Win

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I've asked you for a favor and you have said “no.” Sounds like the end of the conversation, right? Wrong! -- it’s just the beginning! My job is to find out what exactly you said "No” to.  What aspect of my request triggered your response? Four Reasons for a "No" In most circumstances there are only four reasons that someone says "No" to a request: 1. Timing We might be able and willing -- just not right now. 2. Amount We might be happy to help but not at that … [Read more...]

Categories: Fundraising, Getting What You Want, Increasing Awareness, Uncategorized Tagged: , ,

Make a Big Difference With a Little Word

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I love it when people say "Yes and…" Not so much when they say "Yes but…" "Yes and…" expands possibilities.  The word and shapes a conversation in which one person expands on what the other says.  "Yes but…" limits it. A Simple Strategy for Saying "No" But when you use the word but with "No," it's a different story. "No but..." opens possibilities rather than shutting them down. Think about these sentences: No, I don't want to do that, but is there another … [Read more...]

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The Open Door That is “No”

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Are you afraid to ask people for things because you dread the possibility of hearing “no?” If so, why? Does hearing “no” feel like a personal rejection — as though the other person is saying that you aren't important or worthy? And if you feel that way, do you also have trouble saying “No” out of concern that you'll hurt someone's feelings? If you’ve answered “Yes” to either of these questions, think again! You’re short-changing yourself and unnecessarily limiting your … [Read more...]

Categories: Getting What You Want, Making Better Decisions Tagged: , ,

Lizard Brain and the Courage to Ask for What You Want

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Yesterday I asked a former colleague, who is also a friend of mine, for a favor... I was hoping he would feature my recent post on intentional conversations in his newsletter, a very popular publication with more than 10,000 subscribers. But before I could ask the favor, first I had to deal with a huge amount of inner resistance. In fact, I almost didn't ask at all. Why not? I was afraid he'd feel I was being pushy or inappropriately infringing on our … [Read more...]

Categories: Getting What You Want, Increasing Awareness, Managing Stress Tagged: , , ,

Getting to “Yes” with Intentional Conversation

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Imagine this... You've come home after a long, wearying day at work. You know there’s not much in the fridge, you don’t have the time or energy to stop at the store, and you really don’t much feel like cooking. Your partner’s not home yet, but you know she’s expecting a meal because it’s your night to cook. What’s the best way to get your partner to agree to go out to dinner with you instead of eating at home? Here are two approaches you might use when you speak with … [Read more...]

Categories: Fundraising, Getting What You Want Tagged: , ,