Every so often things that felt confusing and challenging and hard start to flow. Rather than fighting to make things come to fruition, they just do. Rather than feeling stuck, you have a sense of where you are going, why you want to get there and where you need to focus your energies to make them happen. The Magic of Getting into the Flow State When you're in a flow period, excitement and anxiety come together to create energy. And at least for a while, what seemed … [Read more...]
The Power and Pleasure of Getting Expert Help
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Have you ever had that sense of frustration as the darn little ball on your computer goes round and round and you sit there wondering why your computer is sooooo sloooooooow? The spinning ball -- or for you it may be the Windows hourglass -- combined with the waiting are frustrating. But what's even more upsetting is that sense that you don't really know what to do. You don't know if something's wrong with your computer or if you've just clogged it's innards with so … [Read more...]
The Very Real Dark Underbelly of Gentrification
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When Tyko and I moved to the South Bronx seven years ago, we unwittingly became gentrifiers. It's hard to think of ourselves that way, but in reality that's what we are. We are people who have moved into a poor neighborhood, not because we must, but because we can. All of our married lives we've lived in poor neighborhoods, not to make a political statement and not to make a financial killing as the neighborhood gentrifies, but because it seemed like a financially smart … [Read more...]
Increasing Your Money Awareness
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I've never been very good with money. Somehow, it has never felt super important. I roughly moderate my spending to correspond with what I have, not through any serious budgeting process, but just by listening to the little voices in my head that warn me when the balance between spending and earning is off. Becoming More Aware of Money in My Life But this year, I've decided to consider money differently -- to consciously become more aware of dollars and cents and … [Read more...]
Exposing Yourself: Why Asking For Help is Healthy
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It's a funny thing about asking for help. First, you've got to admit to yourself you might need it. Then you've got to admit it to someone else. That's a risky business. You've got to expose yourself and risk that people might laugh at you, or worse yet, disrespect you. As I've gotten older, the fear of looking foolish -- the horror that someone might find out that I don't know what I'm doing -- has finally receded somewhat. I'm no longer as plagued by the Imposter … [Read more...]
No More “I’m Sorry”
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Again and again I find myself starting or ending emails and phone calls with "I'm sorry." I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm sorry I couldn't make this or that happen. I'm sorry I haven't done this or that. But recently, it struck me that mostly, I've got absolutely nothing real to be sorry about. I may have wanted to get something done the day before I actually did it, but the person I'm writing to doesn't care... or hadn't even considered that I might respond … [Read more...]
If You Could Be Someone Else, Who Would it Be?
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If you could be someone you're not, who would you choose? I just saw the trailer of Michael Moore's new movie Where to Invade Next. And then, the next day, I saw the remarkable Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping performing at Joe's Pub. And inspired by this two-fer, I thought that if I could become someone else, I'd want to have the courage to be like those remarkable people. With humor and spirit and serious intent, they call attention to the evils … [Read more...]
Wear a Badge to Express Your Goodwill
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My friend Liz Jackson, also known as The Girl with the Purple Cane, has come up with a fascinating idea. With the help of the Michael Graves design studio, she has developed a Seat Share badge for people to wear on the subway. Wearing a badge indicates that you are willing to give up your seat to someone who might need it. The idea is that some people have invisible disabilities and though they don't want to call attention to their problems, they really do need to … [Read more...]