I just read a fascinating blog post by the neuromarketer Roger Dooley (yes, I know, it's scary that such people exist) in which he suggests that a marketer can improve results quite radically over a fairly short time by finding little ways to improve results very day. Specifically, Roger cites research that says that 1% improvements day after day can make a 100% improvement in just 43 days. Well, that certainly caught my attention. I'm tired of setting big, hopeful … [Read more...]
You are Not Free from Consequences and Perception
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A big demonstration is planned in New York City this weekend to protest police brutality and murders. And someone has put a large poster in our elevator that asks boldly, "Which side are you on?" I've thought about taking it down because the very idea of villainizing the police makes me uncomfortable. While some police officers are bad apples, many -- perhaps most -- do good work in difficult and dangerous circumstances. Even my friend Clemetin, who is regularly … [Read more...]
We Are All Sparrows
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My friend Maria Hoehn, a professor at Vassar, helped organize an event last night to get the Vassar community to think about how they might help with the Syrian refugee crisis. Every day for some time now, the Syrians who are fleeing their country have been on my mind too. But what I might do seems paltry when compared to the vast need. And frankly, when the need is so great and my means and energy so minuscule, it's easy to do nothing! But this morning, when I spoke … [Read more...]
The Discipline and Practice of Gratitude
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Have you ever gone out of your way to do something nice for someone and not been thanked? How did that feel? Conversely, how do you feel when someone lets you know that they both notice and appreciate your help? Stop reading for a few seconds and conjure up those feelings. Pull back that slightly bitter sensation that you went out of your way for someone who didn't even let you know they noticed. And now, remember the little sweet glow you felt when someone let you … [Read more...]
One of the Most Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned
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I'm old enough to know better. I assumed that when someone didn't follow through that it was a fluke. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Only to find out that he didn't follow through again and again. A Cautionary Tale Recently a young, savvy guy in my fundraising field reached out to me to see if I'd open some doors for him. I met with him in person and was impressed. Smart, articulate, energetic, informed. All of the things I like. Before we parted, I made a … [Read more...]
Are you Conscious and Competent? Or are You Creative?
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I've been working out with a great trainer lately. He's determined to help this old crone get strong -- really strong. It's frustrating, exciting and fun. Frustrating when I can't do what he asks. Exciting when I start to get the form. And serious fun when I can see how much better and stronger I'm getting. My excellent trainer at Crunch, Leonel Dias, introduced me to the Conscious Competence Learning Model. Conscious Competence Learning Model It goes like … [Read more...]
How to Say Hello to Strangers and Why it Feels So Good
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I had dinner with my friend, Carey, the other night. We live in the same building here in the South Bronx. I was telling Carey about my morning walks to St. Mary's Park and how I say hello to pretty much everyone I walk by, and that they say hello back. "Oh," said Carey in response, "I'm too shy to say hello to strangers." Her response took me aback. Carey, like me, is a white woman who grew up with many unearned privileges. She is educated and successful. And I … [Read more...]
Does it Pay to Be a Snitch?
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I was breathing easy about Clemetin. His life was going smoothly. He hadn't been stopped by the cops in quite a while. Perhaps as a result of the change in the stop and frisk policies adopted by the city some months ago. And he's been very proud that he has stopped shoplifting -- something that for Clemetin has been a way of life since he was a child. But then, one day went by and then another without a word from him. I didn't think much about it until the phone rang … [Read more...]
Paid Back in Full Without Receiving a Dime
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I took the afternoon off work and headed up to meet my friend Clemetin at the Social Security office some miles from where I live. Clemetin had received a notice from Social Security stating that his monthly benefits were being cut and giving him 30 days to appeal. But having spent many years in prison, Clemetin has an aversion to people in government offices. He's quick to anger when they seem to disrespect him. And he's quite sure that's what they'll do. So I offered to … [Read more...]
My Doctor Doesn’t Touch Me Any More
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Hi Jonathan, Do I need to schedule an appointment with you this fall or have annual check ups become a thing of the past? I've scheduled a mammo for this month. What else do I need to do? That's the email I wrote to my doctor this week. He responded a few minutes later saying that I should come in for some blood work to check medication levels, but no need for much else. This correspondence got me thinking about how the doctor/patient relationship (at least mine) has … [Read more...]