The Guitar Teacher Who Took Advantage: Handling Sexual Harassment

The recent announcements of men taking advantage of young women has struck a chord with me. I know it has for many women. We've spent years burying experiences ... walling them off as though they never happened. But when Beverly Nelson tearfully described her encounter with Roy Moore when she was 16, I recalled a similar experience. My experience wasn't as devastating, but it left its mark. My First Story of a Man Taking Advantage When I was 16, I badgered my mother to … [Read more...]

Small Changes Over Time Equal Big Results

Do you ever wake up wishing you were someone else?  Or at least wishing you could change yourself in some way or another? I often do. I wish I were more consistent, more thorough, more determined, more disciplined, more this or that and less that and this. I'm sure you get the idea. You probably have your fair share of days in which you wish you could change something about yourself too. But it's usually super frustrating to recreate yourself in a different mold. You … [Read more...]

Do a Little Composting Math and Help the Environment

Several weeks ago at the Tribeca Film Festival, I saw a movie called Wasted: The Story of Food Waste. By the time I walked out of the theater, I had decided to start composting our kitchen waste. When I got home, I ordered a little countertop composing bin and some compostable plastic liners. I asked neighbors where I could take my compost every day and found that a small community garden nearby accepts compost. And so I started composting. Indoor Composting to Dispose … [Read more...]

Question Your Assumptions – They Can Be Very, Very Wrong

It's easy to make assumptions about people. I do it all the time and you probably do too. We All Make Assumptions Assumptions help you make short-hand sense of the world.  You expect people in a certain place to look and dress a certain way.  And when that's not the way they look, you make assumptions that are sometimes just flat out wrong. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that my husband and I are friends with Clemetin Allen. Clemetin's life has … [Read more...]

If / When-Then: A Tactic to Help You Follow Through

I've just about finished reading Robert Cialdini's new book, Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. While it's interesting and occasionally fascinating, I've gotten one big tip that is making a big difference in my life and you may find helpful, too. He calls it If/When-Then.  And I've been trying it out with promising results. Connect Your Desired Behavior to Trigger Events The idea is to tie goals you have to triggering events that lead to … [Read more...]

Are You REALLY Too Busy?

Does being busy make you feel important? Would it feel strange to tell people that you weren't too busy? I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Shortly after I decided to stop saying "I'm sorry" to people (which, by the way, has made a huge difference in the way I think and act), I started to hear myself saying again and again, "I'm super busy." I've said it so many times that I actually believe it. But in reality, it's not true. I'm just not focused enough on … [Read more...]

Planning Styles: Clear Objectives or Emergent Energy?

Over the last two days, I've connected with two of my super important mentors. One encourages me to develop clear sets of objectives that lay out the next year or two or three. The other encourages giving my emergent energy lots of latitude. Planning Styles at Odds or In Sync? One mentor highlights the freeing nature of deciding where you want to go and then going there, step by step.  That approach diminishes unnecessary and unproductive work and effort.  It enables … [Read more...]

Increasing Your Money Awareness

I've never been very good with money. Somehow, it has never felt super important. I roughly moderate my spending to correspond with what I have, not through any serious budgeting process, but just by listening to the little voices in my head that warn me when the balance between spending and earning is off. Becoming More Aware of Money in My Life But this year, I've decided to consider money differently -- to consciously become more aware of dollars and cents and … [Read more...]

If You Could Be Someone Else, Who Would it Be?

If you could be someone you're not, who would you choose? I just saw the trailer of Michael Moore's new movie Where to Invade Next. And then, the next day, I saw the remarkable Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping performing at Joe's Pub. And inspired by this two-fer, I thought that if I could become someone else, I'd want to have the courage to be like those remarkable people. With humor and spirit and serious intent, they call attention to the evils … [Read more...]

Weird Money Stories and My Quest to Improve

Most of us have weird money stories and sometimes they really don't make much sense. So what's my weird money story? My Weird Money Story I often worry more about little expenditures than big ones. I fret about buying a Kindle book for $9 more than I do about a trip to Cuba for $3,000! (Yes, we are going to Cuba over Christmas.) These strange, counter-intuitive ways with money are quite common. I see them in my friends. Some of my friends are so poor that they … [Read more...]