Communicate Effectively with Email to Get the Results You Want

I was talking with my friend J. recently and she was super discouraged. Three of the people she had been trying to connect with for her organization  --  people she had been in close contact with  --  had not responded to several of her emails. She was getting ready to ask them for gifts and they were disappearing! “Is it me?” she moaned. “Did I do something wrong? Have they all decided that they don’t want to help me with this project?” “I feel like I’m on an … [Read more...]

Do You Get Angry or Concerned? You’re Choice Matters

The next time you feel irritated with a friend or colleague because he doesn't respond to your emails or show up when you expected him to, stop and think about your options before you act. You might decide to get angry because you think he's irresponsible. That would be a reasonable conclusion and a natural response. Or, you might decide to get curious and ask if something's wrong. These are two perfectly reasonable responses to the same set of circumstances and you … [Read more...]

Asking for What You Want by Sarah Kathleen Peck

You probably know that I believe in the power of asking not just as a way of raising money, but as a way of living a full, generous, connected life. I've spent much of my long career writing about asking and teaching about asking. I've even written an entire book on Asking Styles and I cofounded Asking Matters. But today, after I read Sarah Kathleen Peck's post The Art of Asking: or how to ask and get what you want, I was in awe. Here, in a beautifully written piece by … [Read more...]

Getting What You Want With Super-Persistence and Friendly Stalking

The word “stalking” has gotten a bad rap. In recent years, we’ve become more aware of sexual predators and have used that word to describe their behavior. But when my friend and colleague Alison Kear says she’s going to stalk someone, she says it with a wry grin and good humor. And you know she’s up to good rather than no-good. Over the Top "Super" Persistence What Alison means by “stalking” is extreme persistence. She’s going to put herself right under someone's … [Read more...]

Is Getting What You Want Being Manipulative or Finding Common Ground?

When my husband, Tyko, read my post on how to get your partner to take you out for dinner, he said to me “So that’s how you manipulate me...” He said it with a chuckle. But it got me thinking... Manipulating or Collaborating? What, if anything, is the difference between being manipulative and being a great partner? In the getting your husband to take you out to dinner model (hereafter dubbed the "Steak Dinner" approach), you come into the conversation with a … [Read more...]

How to Get Your Husband to Take You Out to Dinner

Tired? Don’t want to cook tonight? Try this simple approach for getting your husband to take you out to dinner. (I've written this post with my husband in mind, but these steps work equally well for partners of any gender.) 6 Steps: Your Ticket to a Dinner Out You’ve walked in the door of your home at 5:45 after a long day at work. You don't feel like cooking and you'd love to have your partner take you out to dinner. Follow each of these six steps and you’re … [Read more...]

What to Do When Opportunity Knocks

Sometimes a big opportunity comes your way that you weren't expecting. It's often hard to know what to do. Big Opportunities Have a Price A new, big opportunity is likely to disrupt your life. And because it's new and untested, you're asked to make space in your life, sometimes lots of space, for something that's uncertain. Opportunity is knocking on my door right now. A big opportunity has just knocked on my door and I'm not sure what to do. A large, well-known … [Read more...]

If Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness, What Does?

Do you think that having lots of money leads to happiness? Think again! Study after study shows that more money’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Once our finances cover the basics, our happiness doesn't increase with our income. What Does Buy Happiness? According to Michael Norton in his TED talk, How Can I Buy Happiness?, your happiness is linked not to how much money you have, but rather how you choose to spend it. Simply put, when you spend money on someone … [Read more...]

Light Up Your Life: Get on Board with Oprah

I was just getting ready to create my next post, “Stuck in a Rut and What to Do About It” when my friend and colleague Gail Perry of Fired Up Fundraising called to talk about what we would write an article about for Guidestar. Gail and I are working together on a project to make material about capital campaign fundraising available on line and Guidestar has agreed to run a piece for us. It's serious stuff, so I was surprised when Gail started reading me headlines from … [Read more...]

The Johnny Appleseed Approach to Life

John Chapman (1774-1845), also known as Johnny Appleseed, was an American pioneer who planted over a hundred thousand square miles of apple orchards in western Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana. Quite a feat when you think of the state of transportation in those days – not to mention the fact that he walked it all barefoot! The apples that Johnny planted weren’t particularly sweet or tasty, but sour apple orchards caught on because the apples made great hard cider or … [Read more...]