Yes You Can! Learning to Say “Wow!” instead of “Whoa”

Do your inner voices ever hold you back? Imagine this: A new potential client just called to ask you to submit a proposal for a big job. Great possibilities here. You're the perfect person for the task! You're excited. But then in an eye blink, your "Whoa" voice takes over. Whoa. Whoa. What makes you think you’re qualified to do that? Even though you have a lot of related experience, you’ve never done exactly that before. In fact, pretty much everything you’ve … [Read more...]

“NO” – The First Step Toward a Win-Win

I've asked you for a favor and you have said “no.” Sounds like the end of the conversation, right? Wrong! -- it’s just the beginning! My job is to find out what exactly you said "No” to.  What aspect of my request triggered your response? Four Reasons for a "No" In most circumstances there are only four reasons that someone says "No" to a request: 1. Timing We might be able and willing -- just not right now. 2. Amount We might be happy to help but not at that … [Read more...]

Make a Big Difference With a Little Word

I love it when people say "Yes and…" Not so much when they say "Yes but…" "Yes and…" expands possibilities.  The word and shapes a conversation in which one person expands on what the other says.  "Yes but…" limits it. A Simple Strategy for Saying "No" But when you use the word but with "No," it's a different story. "No but..." opens possibilities rather than shutting them down. Think about these sentences: No, I don't want to do that, but is there another … [Read more...]

The Open Door That is “No”

Are you afraid to ask people for things because you dread the possibility of hearing “no?” If so, why? Does hearing “no” feel like a personal rejection — as though the other person is saying that you aren't important or worthy? And if you feel that way, do you also have trouble saying “No” out of concern that you'll hurt someone's feelings? If you’ve answered “Yes” to either of these questions, think again! You’re short-changing yourself and unnecessarily limiting … [Read more...]