Home Archives for Increasing Awareness

Women and Men: Complicity and Possibility

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In recent months, I've found myself angry and peculiarly unsettled when it comes to my relationship with men. I've been taught and have learned well to charm my way into their good graces. When I was a young woman, I flirted and made myself appealing. I believed that my ability to stay in their good graces was important to my success in life. I looked up to men as though they were smarter, stronger and more worldly. I charmed my way into and out of uncomfortable … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Increasing Awareness

How to Turn Corrosive Sexual Politics into a Creative Adventure

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Have you ever struggled with your sex life? Not just the act of sex, but the marital politics of sex? Common Sexual Politics of a Married Couple Here’s what I believe to be a common internal refrain for many married women in mid-life. My husband doesn’t satisfy my need for a soul-mate... someone I can have intimate conversations with. Really, the only time we talk is when there’s conflict. What I want is a partner with whom I can talk about my feelings and beliefs and … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Increasing Awareness

Two Ways to Tell Your Life Story

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I was fortunate last week to attend a lecture featuring Mary Catherine Bateson and Cathy Salit. In the 1980s, I read Bateson's remarkable book, Composing a Life. That book had a profound effect on me. Rather than thinking about my life as something that happens to me, I realized that I could think intentionally about shaping and reshaping my life. I started to see my life as a giant improvisation performed on a stage of my own making. Shaping the Story of Your Life It … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Increasing Awareness

What to do When Your Creative Well Runs Dry

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Perhaps you noticed -- or perhaps you didn't -- that I stopped writing these posts for several months. I just stopped! Why? Because every time I sat down to write, what came out bored me. I was writing because I thought I should -- because I thought you were expecting something. I wasn't writing because I had something that burbled up that I wanted to share with you. My wonderful webmaster, Brian, nudged me gently every week. "Andrea," he'd email, "do you have a TRY THIS … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Increasing Awareness, Productivity Tips

Small Gestures of Appreciation Can Make a Big Difference

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What a special holiday Thanksgiving is. It encourages us to notice and think about and give thanks for the good things in life. This Thanksgiving, I plan to go around our holiday table and tell each person that I appreciate them and explain why. In fact, I think I'll start my day tomorrow (Thanksgiving Day) by telling my husband that I appreciate him and what I appreciate about him. I suspect it will be good for both of us! Perhaps Thanksgiving isn't the only day … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Increasing Awareness

Small Changes Over Time Equal Big Results

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Do you ever wake up wishing you were someone else?  Or at least wishing you could change yourself in some way or another? I often do. I wish I were more consistent, more thorough, more determined, more disciplined, more this or that and less that and this. I'm sure you get the idea. You probably have your fair share of days in which you wish you could change something about yourself too. But it's usually super frustrating to recreate yourself in a different mold. You … [Read more...]

Categories: Increasing Awareness, Making Better Decisions

Jumping Rope: Learning Something New Later in Life

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I've decided to learn how to jump rope. My daughter Rya has sent me a new, state of the art jump rope -- the kind that boxers use. And I'm excited to try. Trying Something New at 72 To get ready, I did a bit of online research about jumping rope and this morning, when I went to Saint Mary's Park, I started jumping. I pretended I was spinning a jump rope and, on the balls of my feet, I started bouncing. 100 bounces at a time. Turns out that it's even fun to jump … [Read more...]

Categories: Increasing Awareness, Overcoming Challenges Tagged: ,

What Makes Your Life Significant as You Age?

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In the first two quarters of life, the question of significance don't seem to matter much. What's Significant in Your Life, and When? Q1. In the first quarter -- 0 to 25, you are doing your best to become self-sufficient. You learn skills. You grow into and explore your body. You get an education. You go from being fully dependent to being somewhat independent. And grappling with those things is a full time job. You are still immersed in yourself. Q2. In the second … [Read more...]

Categories: Getting What You Want, Increasing Awareness Tagged: ,

7 Ways Women Get Better with Age

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As I scanned the magazine racks in the Hudson bookstore at JFK on my way to Italy earlier this month I saw nothing -- absolutely nothing -- written for women over 50. Actually, that's not quite true. Allure had a cover story about "Hot Dame" Helen Mirren and an article on "7 Things That Get Better With Age." Curious about what the Allure magazine staff thinks gets better with age, I picked up a copy. As I read their version of what gets "better with age" I couldn't … [Read more...]

Categories: Getting What You Want, Increasing Awareness Tagged:

What Values Do You and Your Community Live By?

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Do you take the values you live by for granted? Do you ever discuss them? Or do you assume that you and the people you associate with agree? And who is your community, anyway?  Your family? Your neighbors? Your clubs or special interest groups? Your living community? In all likelihood, you have several communities. And the values that determine the way the people in each group function may be different from one of them to another. But I've come to think that we don't … [Read more...]

Categories: Communicating Effectively, Increasing Awareness