As I walked down the hill toward home in St. Mary’s Park yesterday, I passed a middle-aged black man walking his dog. I said “good morning” and as I walked by, he said “I haven’t seen you in a long time. Where’s your dog?”
That’s a simple question. But I don’t have a dog. Never have.
He thought I was someone else.
I knew who he thought I was. Another white woman also walks in the park which is largely populated by black and brown people. She has a big black poodle. She and I are both white and we’re both on the slim side. But from my perspective, we look very different. She’s blond. My hair is salt and pepper. She’s mid-50s and I’m mid-70s. She’s short. I’m tall.
But to the black man in the park, the fact that we are both white women made us easy to confuse.
So I Started a Conversation About Race
Rather than letting his error go, I decided to call his attention to it. “No,” said I. “I am a white woman, but not the one with the dog. She’s blond and way younger. Other people have made that mistake too. And it always makes me laugh.”
The man apologized as though he had done something wrong. But when I told him that I’ve done the same thing, not differentiating black people even when they look quite different, he looked relieved. And both of us agreed that we often miss simple identity clues when dealing with people of different races. Our open conversation turned what can be a racially charged issue into a point of common understanding.
I’m glad I brought it up. The next time I see him in the park with his dog, he’ll know who I am and I’ll know who he is too!
ThisRisk Having a Conversation about Race
Conversations about race can be scary. They can lead to misunderstandings and ill will. But when you see an opportunity to speak with people about race in a way that is open and warm-hearted, take the risk and broach the subject. Through little conversations like the one I had in the park, you have a chance to break down barriers and build relationships across racial lines.
Share your ideas about how you might approach a conversation about race in the comments below. Or, head on over to Facebook and share your thoughts there.
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