Yesterday I asked a former colleague, who is also a friend of mine, for a favor... I was hoping he would feature my recent post on intentional conversations in his newsletter, a very popular publication with more than 10,000 subscribers. But before I could ask the favor, first I had to deal with a huge amount of inner resistance. In fact, I almost didn't ask at all. Why not? I was afraid he'd feel I was being pushy or inappropriately infringing on our … [Read more...]
Getting to “Yes” with Intentional Conversation
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Imagine this... You've come home after a long, wearying day at work. You know there’s not much in the fridge, you don’t have the time or energy to stop at the store, and you really don’t much feel like cooking. Your partner’s not home yet, but you know she’s expecting a meal because it’s your night to cook. What’s the best way to get your partner to agree to go out to dinner with you instead of eating at home? Here are two approaches you might use when you speak with … [Read more...]
Winning as a Hare — And as a Tortoise
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Though I have no scientific proof, I'm quite sure that our pace in life — the speed with which we function — shapes the way we see the world. For example, I'm like a hare — a speed demon. Ask me something and you’ll get the answer before you’ve finished the question. Walk down the block with me and I guarantee you’ll stretch your legs! But how much of what’s around me do I actually see? I’ve been thinking about personal pacing and observation because I recently … [Read more...]
The Power of Being Remembered Over Time
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You don't have to be in the fundraising business long before you hear about the importance of — no, the critical importance of — thanking people for their gifts immediately. The gold standard for thank you notes is a 24-hour turn around. While I like to be thanked promptly, being thanked again, long after the gift has a special power. A Surprise in My Mail Two years ago, I sent some money to a Kickstarter project involving a group of kids in my South … [Read more...]
Overcoming Performance Anxiety: Reduce Stress and Be Your Best
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This morning I recorded an interview with Steve Nill, my publisher at CharityChannel Press. He is making a promotional video for my newest book, Asking Styles, and he wanted to include an audio recording. He only needed about 3 minutes. No one listens to much more than that on the fly. But the shorter, the harder because it's got to be right! Right? Just before we began taping, I could feel my heart pound and my mouth get dry. But then I remembered an old trick to … [Read more...]
See Your Inner Beauty: Sage Advice from Grandma
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I was fortunate to have a wonderful mother-in-law who called every Sunday, without fail. One Sunday, when we spoke, I invited her to visit us in Pennsylvania. Her response? “Andrea, do you know what I look like? Yes? Well, I know what you look like too!” And that was the end of discussion about a visit. Mind you, our relationship was excellent and she said this with great affection. I understood that she had no need to visit, not because she didn’t love us, but … [Read more...]
The Perfect Gift
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Are you sometimes stymied when you select a gift for someone because you don’t know what’s right? Have you ever gotten a gift that while it’s well-intended but has nothing to do with your interests or tastes? Do you know that hollow sensation of pretending to love a gift you can't stand? Are You a Great Gift Giver? I’ve always envied people who seem to be able to pick just the right gift. And I think I’ve finally figured out how they do it. Great gift-givers pick … [Read more...]
TRY THIS… a Blog of Ideas and Mind-Play for a Fascinating Life
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My heart is racing. My chest tight. It's all I can do to write this inaugural post. In fact, I’ve spent days....even weeks...avoiding this moment because my anxiety is so high. Do you know that feeling? I recently left my business, Asking Matters, because I wanted to broaden my exploration of human behavior beyond fundraising, the business that has occupied me for nearly 30 years. But now, as I face the blank page of this new blog that willy-nilly launches tomorrow, … [Read more...]