Have you ever wake up feeling anxious? From the first moment you open your eyes, you sense that something's not right. You may not know why you are anxious or what it's about. You're just afloat with unwelcome angst. Your Lizard Brain's on high alert even though there's no specific threat. You can probably tell that I'm describing my state of mind today. You may wake up feeling anxious some days too. Here's my strategy for getting rid of the unwelcome … [Read more...]
Do You Think Before You Talk? Or Talk Before You Think?
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Some people think before they talk. Others talk before they think. In my experience, only some people have brains and tongues that function at exactly the same speed. Perhaps the idea that thinking and talking don't always happen together seems odd or silly. But let me assure you that knowing the relationship between someone's speech and someone's thinking is critically important. Observing the Timing Patterns of Thought and Speech Once you understand how the speed of … [Read more...]
Ask for Advice and Be More Successful
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Do you prefer to do most things by yourself? Perhaps you don't have the time or patience to ask for other people's thoughts and opinions. But asking for advice from others can help you in more ways than you realize. Getting Advice from Experts Pays Off Today I wrote an e-letter that will go out to thousands of people. On the surface, the task wasn't difficult. The message was simple and I knocked it out in just a few minutes. But because I wanted to make sure what … [Read more...]
Track Random Acts of Kindness: You’ll Do Them More Often
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82517. That's the number of steps I walked last week. Those steps amounted to 38.05 miles and burned 14,422 calories. That's the report I woke up to this morning when I booted up my computer. It comes from my new toy — a little black plastic gizmo I carry with me that tracks my activity, records it and gives me progress reports. Tracking the Steps You Take Changes the Decisions You Make Now, knowing that my FitBit is watching, I walk up stairs instead of taking … [Read more...]
How to Work More Effectively With Friends and Colleagues
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Knowing the behavior patterns that you repeat again and again helps you not be at their mercy. Recognizing your own patterns is a valuable tool. But being able to recognize the patterns in other people is just as important. Kihlstedt's First Rule: People are Consistent Anyone who has ever worked with me knows about Kihlstedt's First Rule. Just in the way that you have standard behavior patterns, so do the people you live and work with. If you're able to recognize … [Read more...]
Making Your Behavior Patterns Work for You
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Have you ever noticed that you have similar reactions to new opportunities every time one presents itself? Or do your responses take you by surprise? If you think you respond differently for every situation, think again. The Way We Respond to Opportunities is Like Clockwork People tend to respond to new opportunities in the same way again and again... like clockwork. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t always make the same decisions. But the pattern of your responses is … [Read more...]
Asking for What You Want by Sarah Kathleen Peck
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You probably know that I believe in the power of asking not just as a way of raising money, but as a way of living a full, generous, connected life. I've spent much of my long career writing about asking and teaching about asking. I've even written an entire book on Asking Styles and I cofounded Asking Matters. But today, after I read Sarah Kathleen Peck's post The Art of Asking: or how to ask and get what you want, I was in awe. Here, in a beautifully written piece by … [Read more...]
How to Make Your Meeting Great Before it Even Starts
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How many boring meetings have you gone to? Lots, I’ll bet. I’ve been to more meetings than I care to remember that had no impact on me at all. And they probably didn’t make much of an impact on anyone else either. What Does a Blah Meeting Look Like? Someone calls the meeting to order and passes out the agenda. People report on stuff. The chair asks for questions. Discussion is lackluster. Meeting adjourns. Blah. Everyone slumps out with their thoughts tucked safely … [Read more...]
Getting What You Want With Super-Persistence and Friendly Stalking
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The word “stalking” has gotten a bad rap. In recent years, we’ve become more aware of sexual predators and have used that word to describe their behavior. But when my friend and colleague Alison Kear says she’s going to stalk someone, she says it with a wry grin and good humor. And you know she’s up to good rather than no-good. Over the Top "Super" Persistence What Alison means by “stalking” is extreme persistence. She’s going to put herself right under someone's … [Read more...]
Lessons in Leadership from Alison Kear
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For the past two years, I’ve coached Alison Kear on a large fundraising campaign she worked on at Covenant House Alaska. As I post this, I am on my way to Anchorage to celebrate their success. The campaign has raised more than $24,000,000 and the new building for homeless teens is now open. I'm excited to share with you three lessons about leadership I've learned from Alison during my work with her on this remarkable project. 3 Lessons on Leadership Lesson 1: A … [Read more...]