I didn't write a blog post last night! I simply couldn't decide what subject to write about. In fact, I couldn't decide much of anything and sat in a dull trance watching Olympic athletes ski down big hills. I was a couch potato because I couldn't make up my mind. Even worse than that, I couldn't even shape clear alternatives. I was in a fog of indecision, and I don't like that feeling! (Who does?) Does Indecision Paralyze You Sometimes? What do you do when … [Read more...]
Can’t Find Self-Discipline? Try Clemetin’s 3-Step Method
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Clemetin pays his rent every month. That may not sound like a feat to you, but for Clemetin, it’s a big deal. Who is Clemetin? My friend Clemetin spent more than half of his life in prison. He’s done 27 years of “hard time” in some of the nastiest maximum security prisons of New York State (think Attica). If you've spent most of your life in a cell under the watchful eyes of prison guards, you probably haven't learned many of the basic life skills you'll need when you … [Read more...]
Together We Make a Real Difference in the World
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Yesterday we honored Martin Luther King Jr here in the United States and it got me thinking about the power of one person to make a difference in the lives of others. Obviously Martin Luther King made an outsized difference. And most of us don’t have the ability, desire or opportunity for that. But the way each of us behaves influences others, sometimes in surprising ways. Inspired by a Performance My daughter Carla, a musician, once shared this story with me. She … [Read more...]
When is it Okay to Change Your Mind?
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Stiffen your spine. Stop whining. Just get the job done. Muscle your way through. Live up to your commitments. You Made a Promise - Follow Through! I have a lot of those disciplinary voices in me. You probably do too. I don’t like to be late. I don’t like to disappoint myself. And I really don’t want to disappoint others. For the most part, when I say I’m going to do something, I get it done. But sometimes, in the excitement of the moment, I promise things to … [Read more...]
How Do You Make Decisions – Analytically or Intuitively?
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Have you ever noticed that you make decisions in the same way over and over again? I don't mean that you make the same decision all the time, but the process you use to make decisions is probably quite consistent. The way you make decisions may be very different from the way your partner or friend or boss makes them. Understanding your decision-making style and the style of the people around you can make a big difference in how you get along. Analytic Decision Makers If … [Read more...]
Dance In the New Year
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My friend M was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. Among the many messages she received, one really stood out. You Will Dance Again. To dance is to give and take. To dance is to call and respond. To dance is to ebb and flow. To dance is to lead and to follow To dance is to be full of the life energy that makes you one with the world. My friend M. has already started dancing again. I hope you will dance your way into and through the New … [Read more...]
Using Constructive Conversation to Push Past Anger
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Anger takes too much energy to sustain for very long. And once it fades, it's time to put the pieces of your relationship back together again. If you sit with your anger for a few hours or days, it'll lose it's hold on you. That sharp, insistent sense of having been disrespected or betrayed gradually fades. After a few days, you might even forget who did what to whom and what was so hurtful. What Role Did You Play in the Dispute? Though you may still sense that you … [Read more...]