The most effective way to make a strong connection with someone else is simple. There are two key steps: Really notice who they are. Accept them as they are. Really Noticing Who People Are You may find it easier to judge people or to give them advice or argue with them. But you'll find that when you carefully observe someone close enough to notice who they really are, you'll be more likely to develop a real rapport. "Seeing" is the basis for love My friends … [Read more...]
Why You Have No Reason to Fear Poor Neighborhoods
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I live in a poor neighborhood -- though my husband and I live comfortably in a lovely apartment. If you’ve been following the TRY THIS blog for a while, you've already read a few stories that describe this neighborhood. Picture of a Poor Neighborhood There are dozens of big apartment buildings that punctuate the city blocks, providing subsidized apartments to people who make little enough to qualify to live there. And that's not very much. Over the years, this … [Read more...]
Autumn Anxiety: Build a Head of Steam to Get You Going
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Do you know the physical symptoms of anxiety? If you pay close attention the next time you get anxious, you might notice these things: You start sweating. Perhaps your face even gets a bit damp. Your heart rate goes up a bit. Your mid-section feels -- well -- like it's got a cluster of butterflies in it. You're uncomfortable and out of sorts in a general, ill-defined way. Something just doesn't feel right. And you'd be happy to do almost anything to make … [Read more...]
Was it Disrespect that Lead to the Death of Michael Brown?
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I keep trying to make sense of what happened to Michael Brown on August 9, 2014. Some powerful concoction of anger, pride, racism and fear came together in an awful brew that left young Michael dead on the street. It was with thoughts about this tragedy swirling in my mind that I walked over to St. Mary's Park for my morning exercise. A Young Man Behaving Foolishly St. Mary's is a park where young and old people of many colors and languages come to exercise. People … [Read more...]
How to Kick Your Email Addiction Once and For All
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I just realized that I'm addicted to e-mail. Are you? I check my email constantly. A corner of my eye is always on my inbox. When something new appears, I'm sucked away from whatever else I'm trying to get done. And I don't like it. My email addiction adds up to feeling empty and unsatisfied because though I work all day, I don't get much done that feels like it amounts to anything significant. Test if You're Addicted to Email Try my little email addiction … [Read more...]
The Meaning of Life: Are You Just Clocking Time?
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You could count the days, if you only knew how many there were. And as you get older, though you still don't know exactly how many there will be, the days of your life seem all the more countable. That's what I was thinking about when I finished reading a detective novel last week. Though I enjoyed reading it, after I put it down, I couldn't shake the sense that while I was reading, I was just clocking time... Letting the minutes go by. What Makes Life … [Read more...]
Do You Feel Safe Sitting on a Bench Enjoying a Summer Day?
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I was away on vacation last week. We rented a car and drove to the Berkshires where we stayed in a lovely house overlooking the Housatonic River. The water was high and fast, making splashing and rippling sounds as it went by. Birds came and went from the feeder. We had plenty to eat and wine to drink. We enjoyed the beautiful days and gentle camaraderie of friends. We didn't give a thought to the luxury of feeling safe and unscathed by the world around us. But on … [Read more...]
See Your World With New Eyes
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On Friday, my husband Tyko and I are going on vacation. We've rented a wonderful house in the Berkshires for ten days. We've rented a car. And we've invited a series of friends to join us for a night or two. I'll be bringing my computer and block out two or three hours each day to work. So, what makes this a vacation? I'll be cooking and working and writing. I'll be doing what I do. My friend Clemetin who, despite his lack of experience with vacations, had exactly … [Read more...]
A Simple Way to Make Your Neighborhood More Friendly
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Recently while walking back from Saint Mary's Park where I exercise in the morning, two women I didn't know were standing on the street corner near my apartment. As I passed them by, I said, "Good morning." They each greeted me in kind. And then one of them said, "This is friendly neighborhood, isn't it?" And that made me wonder. Are Neighborhoods Friendly? I've been thinking about her comment ever since. Do you think neighborhoods are friendly? Or is it just the … [Read more...]
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…
Have you ever said something snarky to someone and then immediately regretted it? A Snarky Comment I was talking to someone recently and by mistake I repeated something I had told her the day before. Instead of just letting it go, she said, You're repeating yourself. You already told me that yesterday!" Now, that wasn't exactly nasty. She had stated the truth. But it was unnecessary, and I felt myself pull back for a moment to regain my footing. Another example … [Read more...]