The Universal Need for Unconditional Support

Yesterday, my friend Clemetin wound up back in prison. He didn't end up there because he's dangerous or has done anything particularly bad. He was put there because he hasn't shown up for court-mandated appointments. Several months ago, rather than putting Clemetin in prison, a judge assigned him three years of probation during which he has to show up regularly to meet with a probation officer. But that has proven to be too much for Clemetin. He showed up at the … [Read more...]

Friends for Life — Your “Through-Line” Friends

Do you have people in your life who have been friends for so long that you speak in a sort of code? People who have been with you through thick and thin? Friends who know you inside and out? Most people have hundreds or even thousands of acquaintances, but relatively few long-time, deep friends. I've just spent the day with Barbara, one of my closest friends. We've known one another for decades. We've laughed together and cried together. We've encouraged one … [Read more...]

The Simple Secret to Easily Connect with Anyone

The most effective way to make a strong connection with someone else is simple. There are two key steps: Really notice who they are. Accept them as they are. Really Noticing Who People Are You may find it easier to judge people or to give them advice or argue with them. But you'll find that when you carefully observe someone close enough to notice who they really are, you'll be more likely to develop a real rapport. "Seeing" is the basis for love My friends … [Read more...]

My Friendship with a Felon

Meet Clemetin, my most unlikely friend. Nearly five years ago, I met Clemetin at St Mary's Park in the South Bronx where I exercise most mornings. I had no idea that he had spent most of his nearly 45 years in prison. Gradually, while we walked around the track at the park together morning after morning, I learned his story. But by the time I had learned enough about him to warn me away, we had become friends. Clemetin's story is both sad and uplifting. His life … [Read more...]