Question Your Assumptions – They Can Be Very, Very Wrong

It's easy to make assumptions about people. I do it all the time and you probably do too. We All Make Assumptions Assumptions help you make short-hand sense of the world.  You expect people in a certain place to look and dress a certain way.  And when that's not the way they look, you make assumptions that are sometimes just flat out wrong. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that my husband and I are friends with Clemetin Allen. Clemetin's life has … [Read more...]

If / When-Then: A Tactic to Help You Follow Through

I've just about finished reading Robert Cialdini's new book, Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. While it's interesting and occasionally fascinating, I've gotten one big tip that is making a big difference in my life and you may find helpful, too. He calls it If/When-Then.  And I've been trying it out with promising results. Connect Your Desired Behavior to Trigger Events The idea is to tie goals you have to triggering events that lead to … [Read more...]

Are You REALLY Too Busy?

Does being busy make you feel important? Would it feel strange to tell people that you weren't too busy? I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Shortly after I decided to stop saying "I'm sorry" to people (which, by the way, has made a huge difference in the way I think and act), I started to hear myself saying again and again, "I'm super busy." I've said it so many times that I actually believe it. But in reality, it's not true. I'm just not focused enough on … [Read more...]

Planning Styles: Clear Objectives or Emergent Energy?

Over the last two days, I've connected with two of my super important mentors. One encourages me to develop clear sets of objectives that lay out the next year or two or three. The other encourages giving my emergent energy lots of latitude. Planning Styles at Odds or In Sync? One mentor highlights the freeing nature of deciding where you want to go and then going there, step by step.  That approach diminishes unnecessary and unproductive work and effort.  It enables … [Read more...]

Increasing Your Money Awareness

I've never been very good with money. Somehow, it has never felt super important. I roughly moderate my spending to correspond with what I have, not through any serious budgeting process, but just by listening to the little voices in my head that warn me when the balance between spending and earning is off. Becoming More Aware of Money in My Life But this year, I've decided to consider money differently -- to consciously become more aware of dollars and cents and … [Read more...]

If You Could Be Someone Else, Who Would it Be?

If you could be someone you're not, who would you choose? I just saw the trailer of Michael Moore's new movie Where to Invade Next. And then, the next day, I saw the remarkable Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping performing at Joe's Pub. And inspired by this two-fer, I thought that if I could become someone else, I'd want to have the courage to be like those remarkable people. With humor and spirit and serious intent, they call attention to the evils … [Read more...]

Weird Money Stories and My Quest to Improve

Most of us have weird money stories and sometimes they really don't make much sense. So what's my weird money story? My Weird Money Story I often worry more about little expenditures than big ones. I fret about buying a Kindle book for $9 more than I do about a trip to Cuba for $3,000! (Yes, we are going to Cuba over Christmas.) These strange, counter-intuitive ways with money are quite common. I see them in my friends. Some of my friends are so poor that they … [Read more...]

You are Not Free from Consequences and Perception

A big demonstration is planned in New York City this weekend to protest police brutality and murders.  And someone has put a large poster in our elevator that asks boldly, "Which side are you on?" I've thought about taking it down because the very idea of villainizing the police makes me uncomfortable. While some police officers are bad apples, many -- perhaps most -- do good work in difficult and dangerous circumstances. Even my friend Clemetin, who is regularly … [Read more...]

Five Tricks to Help You Get Stuff 100% Done

Ever been victim of a time suck? I was cleaning up my desk, going through the overflowing inbox and assorted piles that had grown tall and unruly over a couple of months. My work space had been compromised by unattended to dribs and drabs and it was time do something about it. I sorted the piles on my dining table until every paper found its rightful place. Now, you might think that I felt great by the time it was all done. But you’d be wrong. I was sorely … [Read more...]

Judicial Wisdom Shines Through Our Imperfect Legal System

If you've been following my blog, you probably have read at least one post about my friend Clemetin. Last week, in a post about the need we all have for unconditional support, I discussed Clemetin's current judicial predicament. And this week, he stood in judgment. Here's the outcome: Clemetin is not in prison. In fact, he's not even on probation any more. So what happened? He had the good fortune of appearing before a wise judge who made a humane … [Read more...]