Home Archives for Kindness and Generosity

You Caught Me: Solemn Words from a Former Felon

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Then you caught me. That's what my friend Clemetin told me yesterday. You might imagine that when Clemetin, who spent 27 years in maximum security prisons, talks about being caught, he is referring to the many episodes of being caught by the police for doing nothing more serious than sitting on a park bench. But no... He was talking about being caught by a net of support just when he was about to fall again. Clemetin was reflecting on the fact that he's been out … [Read more...]

Categories: Kindness and Generosity, Overcoming Challenges

Aspirin and 5 More Tips for Successful Parties

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Spring is party season. And I'm thinking about inviting a few people over. I'm sure you've been to parties that just haven't taken off. Gatherings where the conversation felt stilted and people left early. Deadly... especially if you're the host. Ever wonder what you can do to increase the chances of that your party will have a lively effervescence? Here are six suggestions. Don't miss the last one! 1. Serve food that shows you care. Make sure that at least some of … [Read more...]

Categories: Kindness and Generosity, Planning Tagged:

Wear a Badge to Express Your Goodwill

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My friend Liz Jackson, also known as The Girl with the Purple Cane, has come up with a fascinating idea. With the help of the Michael Graves design studio, she has developed a Seat Share badge for people to wear on the subway. Wearing a badge indicates that you are willing to give up your seat to someone who might need it. The idea is that some people have invisible disabilities and though they don't want to call attention to their problems, they really do need to … [Read more...]

Categories: Communicating Effectively, Kindness and Generosity Tagged: , , ,

The Discipline and Practice of Gratitude

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Have you ever gone out of your way to do something nice for someone and not been thanked? How did that feel? Conversely, how do you feel when someone lets you know that they both notice and appreciate your help? Stop reading for a few seconds and conjure up those feelings. Pull back that slightly bitter sensation that you went out of your way for someone who didn't even let you know they noticed. And now, remember the little sweet glow you felt when someone let you … [Read more...]

Categories: Increasing Awareness, Kindness and Generosity Tagged: , ,

Paid Back in Full Without Receiving a Dime

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I took the afternoon off work and headed up to meet my friend Clemetin at the Social Security office some miles from where I live. Clemetin had received a notice from Social Security stating that his monthly benefits were being cut and giving him 30 days to appeal. But having spent many years in prison, Clemetin has an aversion to people in government offices. He's quick to anger when they seem to disrespect him. And he's quite sure that's what they'll do. So I offered to … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Kindness and Generosity Tagged: ,

On Race and Fear: The Power of Context

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I've been reading the new, thought-provoking book, Between the World and Me, by Ta-Nehisi Coates. It's a long letter that he wrote to his teenage son.  It's not easy reading, and I don't always understand what he has in mind. But this book has me thinking about race differently than I've ever thought about it before. Lack of Fear: An Unearned Privilege Coates comes back again and again to the effect of pervasive racism has on people of color. They, unlike people who … [Read more...]

Categories: Kindness and Generosity, Managing Stress Tagged: , ,

Finding Common Threads Among our Differences

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Most every morning, I visit St. Mary's Park in the South Bronx where I walk and run and work out. It's a lovely park with big trees arching over a wide path and big natural rock outcroppings on the hills. A running track tucks into the back of the park with slant boards and pull up bars in its center. The park is beautifully laid out, but it's not well-maintained. Litter isn't picked up regularly. The grass is poorly cut. Weeds grow through the pavement here and there. And … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Kindness and Generosity Tagged: ,

The Universal Need for Unconditional Support

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Yesterday, my friend Clemetin wound up back in prison. He didn't end up there because he's dangerous or has done anything particularly bad. He was put there because he hasn't shown up for court-mandated appointments. Several months ago, rather than putting Clemetin in prison, a judge assigned him three years of probation during which he has to show up regularly to meet with a probation officer. But that has proven to be too much for Clemetin. He showed up at the … [Read more...]

Categories: Building Relationships, Kindness and Generosity Tagged: ,

Artificially Prolonging Life: The Gawande Condundrum

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Have you read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande? If not, you should! Everyone should. This remarkable book describes how dying has become medicalized. It used to be that people got sick and died. They were killed by influenza and TB and heat attacks, cancer and strokes. These things happened to them and, well, they just died. But now, someone has a stroke or a heart attack or cancer and off to the doctor they go to be cured. Or, if not to be cured, to have their lives … [Read more...]

Categories: Kindness and Generosity, Making Better Decisions Tagged: , ,

Shoplifting, Central Booking and Cookies in the South Bronx

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This was quite a week. My friend, Clemetin, was picked up by the police not once, but twice. Why? For shoplifting! Now you might think as I did, "What's that matter with Clemetin that he would shoplift anything even once, let alone twice!" And I'll get to that in a later post. But for now, put that question aside and read this most unlikely story about cops being nice. Altruistic Police Officers My phone rang on Wednesday afternoon. It was Clemetin, calling from the … [Read more...]

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