Home Archives for Increasing Awareness

Who’s to Blame for Your Success?

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Everyone wants to be successful. But how many people do you know would elect to be unsuccessful? People Want to Succeed Most of us will jump through hoops to be successful. With success comes pride and appreciation and a sense of accomplishment. Success also brings recognition and sometimes even money and material rewards. Given an option, chances are, you'd choose success over failure. That's true for you. And it's just as true for my friend Clemetin, who has … [Read more...]

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Leftovers or The Beginning of Something New

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The day after Thanksgiving you probably have a refrigerator full of leftovers. But are they leftovers that must be tossed out when they finally go bad? Or are they the beginning of something new and richer and deeper? The Soup of Life I've long been a fan of leftovers. In fact, in my opinion, few things are better than the soup that grows out of the remains of Thanksgiving dinner. It's full of flavor from the past and open to new twists and tastes. Your turkey … [Read more...]

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Do You Think Before You Talk? Or Talk Before You Think?

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Some people think before they talk. Others talk before they think. In my experience, only some people have brains and tongues that function at exactly the same speed. Perhaps the idea that thinking and talking don't always happen together seems odd or silly. But let me assure you that knowing the relationship between someone's speech and someone's thinking is critically important. Observing the Timing Patterns of Thought and Speech Once you understand how the speed of … [Read more...]

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Track Random Acts of Kindness: You’ll Do Them More Often

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82517. That's the number of steps I walked last week. Those steps amounted to 38.05 miles and burned 14,422 calories. That's the report I woke up to this morning when I booted up my computer. It comes from my new toy — a little black plastic gizmo I carry with me that tracks my activity, records it and gives me progress reports. Tracking the Steps You Take Changes the Decisions You Make Now, knowing that my FitBit is watching, I walk up stairs instead of taking … [Read more...]

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How to Work More Effectively With Friends and Colleagues

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Knowing the behavior patterns that you repeat again and again helps you not be at their mercy. Recognizing your own patterns is a valuable tool.  But being able to recognize the patterns in other people is just as important. Kihlstedt's First Rule:  People are Consistent Anyone who has ever worked with me knows about Kihlstedt's First Rule. Just in the way that you have standard behavior patterns, so do the people you live and work with. If you're able to recognize … [Read more...]

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Making Your Behavior Patterns Work for You

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Have you ever noticed that you have similar reactions to new opportunities every time one presents itself? Or do your responses take you by surprise? If you think you respond differently for every situation, think again. The Way We Respond to Opportunities is Like Clockwork People tend  to respond to new opportunities in the same way again and again... like clockwork. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t always make the same decisions. But the pattern of your responses is … [Read more...]

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Saying “Hello” to Strangers: An Unearned Privilege

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What do you take for granted? If you're white and middle class, you probably don't expect to be hassled as you go about your day. You don't expect a floor walker to follow you around a store to make sure you don't steal something. You don't expect the receptionist at the doctor's office to be rude. You don't expect to be stopped and frisked for doing absolutely nothing wrong. But you DO expect people to be nice to you, because mostly they are. Respect -- Your … [Read more...]

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Two Surprising Tips for Great Meetings… and Dinner Parties

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You're about to hear the best advice I've ever received for getting the most out of business and social meetings alike. Some years ago I had the good fortune of taking a Leadership course at the Gestalt International Study Center on Cape Cod. The remarkable Sonia Nevis, one of the Center’s founders, worked with our group over the course of several days. During our time together, Sonia shared these very surprising tips for making meetings work well. As it turns out, they … [Read more...]

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Is Kindness One of Your Core Strengths?

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At the end of last week’s post about seeing what we look for, I asked you what you would choose to see. A number of people suggested traits like generosity, abundance, love, and kindness. Your suggestions brought me back many years to an “Ah-Ha!” moment in my life — a moment that lit a bulb in my mind and shifted what I look for. Recognizing the Importance of Kindness I was at a meeting of fellow fundraising professionals and, as an ice breaker, the facilitator asked … [Read more...]

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Look for Something and You’re Likely to See It

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Have you ever noticed that once you make up your mind about something, you start seeing lots of evidence that supports your decision? Your “sightings” aren't the result of Divine intervention. They happen because your brain, like mine and everyone else's, selects from among the gigabytes of available information and presents you with just the right things to match your conclusions. According to Chris Chabris and Dan Simons, co-authors of The Invisible Gorilla, our … [Read more...]

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