When my husband, Tyko, read my post on how to get your partner to take you out for dinner, he said to me “So that’s how you manipulate me...” He said it with a chuckle. But it got me thinking... Manipulating or Collaborating? What, if anything, is the difference between being manipulative and being a great partner? In the getting your husband to take you out to dinner model (hereafter dubbed the "Steak Dinner" approach), you come into the conversation with a … [Read more...]
How to Get Your Husband to Take You Out to Dinner
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Tired? Don’t want to cook tonight? Try this simple approach for getting your husband to take you out to dinner. (I've written this post with my husband in mind, but these steps work equally well for partners of any gender.) 6 Steps: Your Ticket to a Dinner Out You’ve walked in the door of your home at 5:45 after a long day at work. You don't feel like cooking and you'd love to have your partner take you out to dinner. Follow each of these six steps and you’re … [Read more...]
9 Power Principles for Making a Dent in the Universe
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I subscribe to Daily Nuggets put out by For Impact and The Suddes Group, a fundraising consulting firm that has an innovative approach to their work. Every day, a Nugget arrives in my in-box. They are written for people in nonprofit fundraising, but they have much broader application to business and life. 9 Nuggets of Wisdom Today's Nugget hit home with me. So, with thanks to the folks at For Impact, I share with you my adaptation of the For Impact 9 Guiding Principles. … [Read more...]
Collaborating Effectively: 3 Tips for Extroverts
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The real sign that you're an extrovert is not that you are super gregarious, but rather that you get your energy from interactions with other people. Introvert or Extrovert? If you're an extrovert, rather than sitting alone and thinking until the ideas become clear, you'll prefer thinking out loud. And only after you’ve voiced your thoughts and gotten feedback from other people will you know what you really think. That’s why extroverts like to work with other people. … [Read more...]
When Opportunity Strikes, Check Your Internal Compass
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Making decisions often begin with a YES or a NO. But that's usually just the start of a more complicated process. For many people, the big questions are decided by instinct. You find the answers not with thorough research, but rather by testing the decision against an inner emotional or intuitive response. And that's what I did with an opportunity that came my way. To try to get a sense of whether I wanted to be the "fundraising guru" for an artists' crowdfunding … [Read more...]
A Facilitator’s Tip: How to Encourage Discussion without Judgment
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If you've ever led a discussion or taken questions after a presentation, you've probably used the phrase, "That's a great question," in an effort to give positive feedback to the person who asked the question. It seems like a normal response and facilitators use it again and again. Good (or Bad) Judgment has a Chilling Effect But if someone else in your audience is thinking about asking a question, your "that's a great question" response may actually discourage them from … [Read more...]
What to Do When Opportunity Knocks
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Sometimes a big opportunity comes your way that you weren't expecting. It's often hard to know what to do. Big Opportunities Have a Price A new, big opportunity is likely to disrupt your life. And because it's new and untested, you're asked to make space in your life, sometimes lots of space, for something that's uncertain. Opportunity is knocking on my door right now. A big opportunity has just knocked on my door and I'm not sure what to do. A large, well-known … [Read more...]
How to Make Decisions to Expand Your Horizons and Life
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Have you ever noticed that inertia often keeps you from doing things? Do you sometimes find that you don't do things because you're uneasy about them? For many -- even most people -- the natural tendency of inertia combined with a sense of fear keeps them from taking advantage of many wonderful opportunities that come their way. Advice For Generations Many years ago, my father gave me some advice about making decisions that has shaped much of my life. The other day, … [Read more...]
10 Letters to Live By
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In the rush of your daily life, there are probably moments -- even days and weeks -- when you forget what's truly important. This ten letter alphabet list, developed by Dr. James R. Doty, Clinical Professor of Neurosurgery at Stanford, is a simple way to stay connected to what matters. C for Compassion. Open your heart for yourself and others. D for Dignity. Recognize the dignity of every human being. E for Equanimity. While acknowledging the ups and downs, try to … [Read more...]
Stress: Good or Bad? You Might be Surprised
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Do you hate stress? What if you could grow to love it? Recent research findings might surprise you. I've always had a sneaking suspicion that the uncomfortable feeling of stress was an important part of the creative process. Think back a bit... Haven't the most important things in life -- your creative triumphs, your most meaningful accomplishments, your proudest moments -- been preceded by stress? You know the signs and symptoms: rapid heart rate, dry … [Read more...]